she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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