How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
