So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
