Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
