How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
