You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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