So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
