okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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