How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
