Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
