drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
