How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
