This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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