I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
