I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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