just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
