yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
