I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
