im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
