i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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