somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
