I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
