Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
We just shotgunned beers for America
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
