I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
