i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
