we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
