I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
