so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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