Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
