Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
