yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
