I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
