Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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