i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
being pregnant is like rehab
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Randomize
