Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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