It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
