we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
