How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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