Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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