i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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