Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
