wrigley field is MILF paradise
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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