just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
