As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toyâ€
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