good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
