he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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