Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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