Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Randomize