would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
