i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
