went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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