you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
