atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
