True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Welp...herpes.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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