Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize