i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
