Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
