I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
