Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
