Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
