it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
