just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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