I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
