Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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