I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Oh god it's open bar.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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