FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
it's like heaven, but drunker
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
my poor anus
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
